Wednesday, April 7, 2010

back to it.

Drew this at the breakfast table this morning. Thanks to Andrew for the idea.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Palm Sundae

Hey y'all. Been pretty lazy on this of late. Been wicked busy at work. Fell off the wagon a couple times but other than that I am still pretty lame. Who wants to touch me?

Saturday, February 27, 2010

As promised.

So my buddy really is getting one of my drawings tattooed on his leg. Here's proof.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

pffffft 2/24

now i'm just hungry.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Lunch Break 2/23

I'm an idiot. And probably not original.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Weekend Crap

I know a pretty lady named Allison. Her last name is Butterworth. Yep.

Well, I was having a discussion with someone the other night about how much I hate people who listen to Dave Matthews and other such nonsense with their flip flops and shell necklaces and date rapish tendancies ought to have any conceptions sired by them mandatorily terminated. Make this bill a law. Bro vs. Wade. I know. I'm terrible. I was really grumpy. But seriously, maybe they should all just be sterilized so the terminations wouldn't be necessary. But that's neither here nor there.

While walking to a bar in the delightfully seedy Tenderloin district in San Francisco it seemed like every other person who walked by had the same cough. So, while at the HA-RA on Geary, while my mates were having a smoke, I had me a color.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

51 Days! Color 'Em If Ya Got 'Em!

So I finally got my own computer so my updates will be as regular as a high fiber diet. I've made it 51 days without a cigarette which is pretty awesome. I really didn't think I'd last this long. But the coloring is really doing the trick. Here's some from this past week.

Am Not D2. Yes, I'm lame.

Post half a bucket of Popeye's Chicken wanting a cigarette blues.

Jewbacca. I only color when I drink.

Shaftsquatch. That's right kids.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Le Grrrr

This is how I feel some nights. Especially the nights where everyone around me is smoking. Giving in would be pretty easy. And some days I wish I hadn't started this because I'm so used to giving in to it. I've tried so many times to quit but then find any excuse in the book to have one. Just got done eating a big meal. Just got done with work. Just woke up. It's (insert day of week here). But I know if I tried to quit without something to occupy my head for a few minutes I'd be choking someone in public or indiscriminately firing off knuckle babies on a public bus. The physical cravings have mostly subsided. I am now engaged in a war against my brain and nearly 15 years of destructive habits.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Oh, hey y'all. Quitting sucks. A lot. I hate it. It's giving me the swears. I'm cranky.

Heard a song on the radio the other day about not trusting ho's. Here's a pg version of what's in my brain.

Boy Orbison. Roy George. Whatever. There ya go, Sam.

saturday night in the tenderloin.

It's pretty hard not to smoke when I drink. So I can't really get drunk or I'm afraid I'll cave. Thus making me a much cheaper date. Ladies?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

"Excremation Point"

Sometimes I look at the world as just one giant potential poop joke. Hi, I'm Jacob and I am a 29 year old idiot manchild. Lately not smoking just makes me grumpy. But I can't swear on here because I love my mom and she looks at this. So you get a picture of a swear.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

40 Days of this mess.

"Mustard Is For Heroes" was a quote from my friend Jimmy. He tells the truth.

Today at work there was a mop leaned up against a concrete pole. Drew a face on it during break. No big deal.
One of my best friends, Shaun Liboon, is Philipino. Several years ago he was painting houses during the summer and the dudes he was working with thought he looked like an eskimo. They were right. 

Drew this during lunch today. It was kinda dark where I was sitting and couldn't really see what I was drawing. It turned out to look like an Orc with fetal alcohol syndrome. I call this one "Dorc". Sauron's child he doesn't speak of.
This is what time I get up for work. I used to pretty much light up first thing in the morning. Now I want to smash things. And learn how to draw like a grown up. Oh dreamy dreams.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Black Lung Crayola "It's Lame From Outer Space"

I am lame sauce. In other news, I can breathe a little bit better. So today's score is a draw. Jacob: 1   World: 1   Here's to 39 days. Thank you, Crayola, for your ridiculously named crayons. Mauvelous? For shame!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Black Lung Crayola "Long Weekend"

Well, Friday was an extremely hard day for me. I can't really pinpoint it but smoking has been my stress reliever for so long I have a difficult time even thinking of other options. I walked around work all day with a white crayon in my mouth and doodled on things when time permited. After work I stayed in my room and sorted my crayons because I needed to give my fidgity hands something to do. Drew a couple more pictures when the urges struck. Quitting smoking sucks. A lot. It makes me feel crazy sometimes. But my lungs feel better every day. Think I might go for a run tomorrow for the first time in 4 years.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Black Lung Crayola #46 "Death From Above"

So when I first started doing these dumb drawings I asked people for suggestions. The other day I received a request for a Zombie Wombat, or Wombie, riding a pterodactyl in a rain of scissors. He said if I drew it he would get it tattooed on himself. Well, Clay, here is your charge. I apologize and you're welcome.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Black Lung Crayola #45 "Cigmata"

C'mon. That's pretty clever for a half wookie.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Black Lung Crayola "For Jim"

This is stupid. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

Black Lung Crayola #43 "Station 8"

I'm having my 33 day party tonight in room 137 at the La Quinta Inn. San Jose, California. Bring your crayons, kiddos, it's LOST time!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Black Lung Crayola "Coloring On My Smoking Break"

First day of work was a success. Got a little crap for the crayons during my break today. But I still smell like a a flower. I win.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Black Lung Crayola #41 "Color 'Em If Ya Got 'Em!"

I'm a little antsy tonight. Going back to work tomorrow after more than two months. Until recently I basically gave myself any excuse in the book to smoke. Nervous. Irritated. Anxious. Drunk. Blah blah blah. I'm fixin' to go back into a work environment where most of my co-workers are smokers. It would be the easiest thing in the world to just go take a drag or even have one. I shall be entering the jobsite tomorrow with my notepad and a pack of crayolas. Wish me luck.

Black Lung Crayola #40 "S.O.S.!"

Well I finally made it back to San Francisco this past weekend. The group I went out with were nearly all smokers so it was going to be a trying night. This time I carried my little notepad and a 16 pack of crayolas with me as we layed waste to this filthy town. Above is the progression of the evening and, I'm proud to say, even after ending up at a one of the few bars in the city that allow smoking, I, like a creepy little troll, sat in the corner and colored fuiously.
It is now Sunday morning and I am officially halfway through my 31st day off not smoking. I still want them all the time but this whole "tricking the brain" thing does seem to be doing the trick for now.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Black Lung Crayola #39 "Gesundheit"

I sat next to a stinky old man on the plane from Chicago to Los Angeles. Not only did he stink but he was half in my #@%$! seat the entire time. I angrily drew this while sitting next to him. Once upon a time if someone was irritating me in public I would just blow smoke in their face. Well, being that I am not smoking and on a plane, I did something a little more passive aggressive. I can't help that he's used to his own stench of failure and rotton beef. Whatever. Here's a house sneezing. I'm gonna go take another shower.

Twitchy and grumpy,

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Black Lung Crayola #38 "Waxing Artistic"

Note to self: Don't try to smoke your crayons. Just a ridiculous mess. Especially if you have a beard. Whoopsies.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Black Lung Crayola #37 "Out With The Bad Air. In With The Good"

I drew the spiky nonsense around the lungs mostly because my friend bought me a new box of crayons the other night and I wanted to test out Mango Tango. I think Crayola should let me name a color. I think I could do better. That being said, I want to thank all of you who have sent me encouraging words either on here, in person or on facebook. You all are making my quitting just that much more attainable. Day 26!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Black Lung Crayola #36 "R.I.P."

This morning I calculated, roughly, how much money I've spent on cigarettes in my life. It depressed me so much that I wanted a cigarette. #@%$***#@$!!!


I feel only slightly better now. Especially since I didn't smoke. But seriously, well over $20,000.

Black Lung Crayola #35 "Scrabbled Eggs..."

The other day a friend of mine, who had a stuffed up nose at the time, ordered his eggs "scrambled". But, due to the fact that he was as congested as he was, it sounded like "scrabbled". So there you have it.

ps 24 days without a cigarette. physical cravings mostly gone. this whole replacing the habit thing is way harder than i thought.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Black Lung Crayola #34 "Lycan Do Whatever I Want"

I feel a certain kinship to werewolves. Mostly because I sorta look like one. But the werewolf has always been my favorite monster. It's just depressing to think that I drew better ones when I was 6 than I do now. Then again I don't spend any more than 10 minutes on any of these. Why am I trying to justify this to you?! GET OFF MY LAWN!

Black Lung Crayola #33 "the Holy Triumvirate"

Mustard is for heroes. Corn is from're welcome. And bacon. You do the math. Seriously. Because I can't.